Dead-Girl Walking.

You finally did it, didn’t you?

Maybe I had foreseen its coming. But your ‘I love you s’ mollified my fears. Coming in at the right time and hitting the right chord.

I confused them as a result of the love and affection you held for me. Love, huh? What was I thinking, gosh. You probably said them to save me for the pain that would be coming later. Built me up, raised me like a lamb for slaughter.

I tell you, my darling, it is far worse than what I envisaged. Sure, there were those customary sleepless nights. A bit of crying here and there, too.

But you shook me to my very foundations the day you left. The girl who was once confident about everything in her stride now doubts her every thought.

I look at myself in the looking-glass and all I want to do is claw off my skin. Free myself from the traces of your soft whispers against my goose-fleshed skin, your mouth against mine, the unparalleled pleasure your every touch warranted.

Darling, I was living antitheses with you.

 Shaky yet unwavering. Scared yet fearless. Calm yet a thunder-storm brewing in my chest.

 Yeah, that’s how you made me feel. Yes, I had given you an inkling about my feelings, but they never did any justice to the real deal.

However, I thought you’d leave me only when there was no other choice. That otherwise, you’d leave me on my cloud nine feeling full of love.

But you were the one who pushed me off it. Love, you left me an empty shell, with eyes dead to the world and all, not even a ghost of the girl I used to be.

You’ve made me like the dead-girl walking you’ve always feared.

-Kimaya Ingale.