‘R’ For Reality, Romance And You.

Dear R,

             Everybody knows what you mean to me. Well, I guess everybody but us. 

You’re like the perfect poetry I couldn’t have ever written. The words that dictionaries fail to make me understand. You’re still incomprehensible to me, even though we hate the same animals, both the talking ones and the others. You’re the blurry detail in a photograph, which, instead of making me ignore it, leaves me wanting more.

R, you’re all of that and more.

You’re the one who brought the light with you to ease me into the startling chaos of my reality. I ran from reality as long as I can remember, just because I was a coward; I couldn’t see my mistakes and I ignored the ones which I was shown, because it was just so much easier.

Life before you was easier. Later, I realised, living with you, what “life” was all about.

R, what sets you apart is that you’re asymptotic. Your smile is a curve that few would see as not intersecting the line of pretence. People who pushed you over saw what could be seen easily and took off. I don’t know what made me stay, but I know it has got a lot to do with giggles and long conversations and not having the need of trying to “fit in”.

It has a lot to do with being each other’s cheerleaders and staying that way.

Eh, I know you’ve read hundreds of these appreciation posts. And that irks me, because words aren’t enough to let the world know what you, this tiny 5 foot being is made of.

For the first time, I wish for something more, something more concrete and absolute than my words to romance you. I could say a thousand ‘I love yous’ and yet, my heart would argue saying that this isn’t just love.

You’re magic, R. Whatever anybody says about you, I don’t listen. When somebody acts like they know you, I laugh because I know they don’t. 

What they see is a small child, in need of love and protection. They don’t see the same child guarding the heart of a 5’4″ something nerd. They don’t see her being the sole reason of someone’s smile on a rough day, because that’s how she is. 

I just don’t love you because I know all that you’ve done for me. I love you for all that you unknowingly did and made me smile.

This letter is nothing but me rambling and yet again, failing to capture your beauty and showcasing it to  the world. 

Maybe, I have begun to understand, that not all art is meant to be captured and showcased. And you, my darling, are certainly one heck of a masterpiece.

Yours,

K.

–Kimaya Ingale.