Who Am I?

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Extremely long poem. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Oh, and by the way, is switching to Shakespearean English (for no particular reason) allowed?


Who Am I?

I disappoint.
Sorrow-
Innumerable,
That’s what I’d be
If every time I caused it
And be given a point.

To make things easier,
I’ll give you clues three;
Figuring it out on the first try
Is an easy victory.

1. “I am different colours-
Tawny or blue or hazel or brown
Holding things unearthly-
Love, sin, hate, the power to mortally wound
In one.
In that body,
Which has no end, no beginning,
Going ’round.”

I pain more than
A fatal disease,
For I’m human
Meant to,
But unable to please.

The second clue, perchance,
Is vague,
Like the answer
Of an indecisive mistress
When asked to dance.

2. “I begin with a C,
My last syllable
Is the answer you seek.
The Indians adore me,
The English, too,
So much so,
I’m consumed assuredly
When the clock strikes three.”

I don’t hate myself;
How can I,
When I’m already
Beyond the (now, laughable)
Emotion the word betrays?
I yearn for words
Describing what I feel.
But, that’s as absurd
As the idea
That I can heal.

I am knowing of the fact
They repeat willingly
To themselves
After every unkind act-
It is a big world
And you CANNOT
Please everyone.’
 
I am knowing,
But my sinning self
Agrees
To disagree.

I give you
Clue number three.
I expect,
It should serve
The answer to thee,
Lest this facile quest
Hath been renounced by thee.

3. “The world would be
A far better place
If it’s occupants
Made it their occupation to
Cast it’s attention
To ‘we’
And not to the
Despicable word at the onset
Of nearly every stanza;
Have a look, I pray of you,
Put an end
To this pitiable
Self-deprecating extravaganza!”

Sure I am
That the answer
Has been found.
Now, I don’t desire much
Except a small favour from you.

Forget everything you learnt
About me,
For occupying space in
Your untainted brain,
I am not worthy!
Forget me and
Cast me into nothingness,
A deep ravine,
Don’t protest nor argue,
For it isn’t a
Cumbersome task.

The universe is
(Fortunately)
Roomy, accomodating, vast.
Cast me away
In the very next storm,
For, dear one,
That’s your guarantee
To rainbows and happy days
For long.

“If you can help a person to learn to love themselves, if you can contribute in any way, do not hold back. There is no greater act of kindness.”

-Kimaya Ingale.

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34 thoughts on “Who Am I?

  1. gabriel360live says:

    Okay.

    Seriously now.

    You remind me of a girl I once knew in college. She was an aspiring writer, but didn’t think she wrote anything all that good. I encouraged her to write a poem with me; I gave her a topic and we both went our separate ways and wrote a poem about that topic. I showed her my poem after a few days of writing it. She told me she had written one, but didn’t want me to see it just yet. She was very hesitant about what I would say concerning her poem, thinking I would hate it. Almost two weeks later, I asked if I could see her poem and she finally emailed it to me, saying that it wasn’t very good.

    After reading her poem, I asked her if I could show it to my poetry instructor. She said it was okay, but thought my instructor wouldn’t like it. The reason I wanted to show my instructor is because I knew my instructor would love it, which she did. I then asked my instructor to write some encouraging words for her. So my instructor did that.

    When I showed those encouraging words to the girl, she was trying not to cry; that’s how happy she was that my instructor loved her poem. I then told her about a poetry contest at the school and I pretty much begged her to enter her poem. She did. And even though she didn’t win First Place, she did win Third Place and a cash prize, beating a poem I wrote and entered into the contest. Yes, I would’ve won that cash prize if I didn’t push her to entering her poem.

    This girl was not at all confident in her writing and yet she could write circles around me. That’s why you remind me of her. When you say that your poem is “immature” and “amateurish,” I don’t feel a lot of confidence from you. But let me tell you, if I showed this poem to my poetry instructor, she would be so excited to read such a fantastic poem from a talented young writer such as yourself.

    Kimaya, you can write circles around me. You are so much better than I could ever hope to be. And I really would love for you to feel a confidence that allows you to start a poem with an Author’s Note of, “This is my poem. It is a magnificent expression of me. It is great and so am I.” πŸ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

  2. thatgirlkimaya says:

    Oh my god. I can never thank you enough for what you just said. Seriously, it means a lot and you’ve done it. You’ve injected some confidence into me, about my words and myself. I may not yet be able to begin with the Author’s Note you mentioned, but believe me, you and so many other kind people give me that push and I can feel myself swaying to the confident side, one word at a time.
    Thank you (I say this with all the power of the two words). πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Vibrant says:

    Wow!! This is profound. I won’t boast that I understood fully as I am the humblest man that can be!

    Still, I appreciate your genius and I feel this is not long!

    I have shared it on FB, Twitter, Google.

    Love and light ❀

    Anand πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  4. shinepositivepower says:

    You are a poetess, showed emotions that made people who read them feel and understand you. Please keep up the good work, you have many things to share to the world. Young, beautiful and talented, what more could anyone ask for? Kudos to you! Keep writing. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. avinashr13 says:

    I’m a pretty narcissistic person. I have never felt incapable of anything and because of that I don’t quite feel jealous about anyone. But poets are a rare breed of people that incites the jealous streak in me. If poetry is an ocean, am someone from a desert who has heard loads, can even appreciate it’s serenity but never quite understand the full splendor. Poetry reduces me to size(which is no ways a mean achievement) and you are one among the very few poets to do so without much ado. Rock On!!! Inspire more and one day I might just write a poem that goes more than just
    “There lived a boy,
    he had just one toy,
    his life was filled with joy,
    till he saw the movie ROY”

    Liked by 1 person

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