Dear Joy.

Dear Joy,

Hi! I guess, a “long time, no see!” is in order. You might not be visiting me in recent times, but I assure you, your company is enjoyable.

In my childhood, you were easier to obtain. I’d experience you almost every other moment. Playing with my friends, staring at nothing, reading, watching cartoons, eating what I liked, spending time with my family, drawing (which I absolutely despise now)- you came with it all.

But now, when I’m in my teenage, I’ve discovered quite a lot of things which have affected your time in my life. Now that I know that nothing is permanent, I find ‘happily ever after’ nothing more than a desperate attempt at promising a better tomorrow. What’s worse, only a few make it through to see the better tomorrow or the better day after tomorrow or the better, whenever it comes. Scary, isn’t it?

You exist a lot in my memories. You come in the form of some people I interact with on a daily basis (some of them extremely gorgeous, if you know what I mean *wink*). You come in the form of flashbacks of things that I once had. You exist in the thought of the things I will have. You exist in literature and words. You exist in human gestures. You exist in a lot of things. 

Then, you shouldn’t be difficult to find, eh? But, you are. You are like a chameleon. You blend in with the other emotions that already exist in majority. It takes a long while to pick you out. Most give up in the process. However, it’s beautiful watching those who successfully do so. It inspires other people and then BAM! You are a phenomenon that everyone wants to experience and the world slowly becomes a better place.

I don’t know whether you will be as hard to find in my adulthood as you are now. Maybe I will have experienced you enough times to know where exactly to look. I hope that is the case; for me and for everyone else.

Wow, that was Aristotle-level philosophical. Maybe, I should calm down a bit.

Maybe, I shouldn’t. I’ve gotten all worked up now, to find you. And it’s a damned better thought than all the others I’ve had lately.

Yours sincerely,

Me.

-Kimaya Ingale.