AUTHOR’S NOTE: I couldn’t resist not writing more. 😛
We became closer and closer and my suspicions about him liking me were nearing their summit.
Anyway, the Incident happened on a fine May night, you know, the cliched ‘calm before the storm’ kind. So, he calls me up and in a dead serious tone says that he wants to tell me something important. I thought, ‘Ah, it’s here finally’ and my carefully thought, worn, well rehearsed speech on declining proposals from guys I didn’t like entered my mind. I was just making a few changes here and there, tweaking corners, when he started crying.
“God, are you really that terrible?”
*Laughs* Who knows? Either way, I was alarmed. So I implored him to tell me what it was, because – 1. ‘Was he really that much in love with me that it makes him cry like a baby?’ I thought (ha! I know, how much more self-absorbed could a person be!) 2. It was a late night call on the phone in the living room because I didn’t have a phone back then and the looks my family was shooting me weren’t entirely pleasant.
So, after half an hour more of barely coherent, vague clues dropped between racking sobs, he told me. Believe me, it was something that took me aback. The ‘sorry I don’t like you back’ collapsed into nothing-ness.
Can you guess what he said?
“Well, whatever it was, it wasn’t certainly a proclamation of love!”
You’re right on that front. It wasn’t. He told me he was different. That kind of a different which takes hella lot of courage to accept, brings about a ground-breaking, world-spinning change in your life. It might sound daunting to some, but the feeling of liberalization that you experience is one of those ‘once in a lifetime’ things.
When it grows, it turns into one of the purest and heavenly things in existence on the earth- love. But love which has been tainted as ‘unnatural and forbidden’ by the Society. And I can’t even begin to think- why.
“Yes, you are absolutely right. But what about pretending to like you? Why do that?”
I was hoping you would ask. Let me tell you, I wasn’t the only one he pretended to have taken a fancy to. He had been pretending to like girls since 2 years ago. To feel normal, to fit in and to bury the truth deep into the niches he carved especially into his mind.
And that is what breaks my heart. Look, there’s pretending to be something you’re not because you want it, and there’s pretending to be something that you’re not because the people want it. They just don’t want you to escape the realms of ‘what has been the tradition’ and be an iconoclast.
Who exactly are we to dub what’s normal and what’s not? If you are stupid enough to answer this question and even stupider to answer it with -‘That’s how God made us’- I feel sorry for you. Like really, I won’t even get mad. I’m just really sorry for you; if you think God made us to forbid some “types” of love and make some of our fellows unhappy, you’re being sent a barrel full of pity for yourself from yours truly.
I apolgize for my bluntness, and I know I might offend some readers when I say this- there is a reason that God doesn’t show himself and hides up in Heaven. He’s too ashamed to face what he has created.